Advice for I Your Husband Doesn’t Work to Get Any Money

u/Loud-Imagination

Where to start?

I'm about to turn 37yo. I badly want to create my own business and brand. I'm still defining what should I focus on based on what I'm good at. I can get to that eventually, but my point is…How can I do that working from home, with only 1 salary income from a full-time job? I work 11 hrs per day, I have 2 teenage kids, and a husband that doesn't work.

I started to go to the gym, I think it's a good way to discipline myself and oxygen my brain, and do something good for me.

I'm taking online courses to learn the skills to build my business successfully. I cannot take the lessons every day though.

If I wake up at 6:30 am, work out from 7:30 am to 8:30 am. Start working on my full-time job from 10 am to 9 pm from Mon to Sat, and go to sleep around 11 pm to 12 am, to try to make the 6 hrs recommended to keep me healthy…

How the heck I would do this? What time I will dedicate to my children and my marriage? I'm not prepared to quit my job because I live in a foreign country, paying rent and we can nearly do it thru the end of the month.

I want to hear from you guys.

Thanks in advance.

Edit: Thanks to everyone that has taken the time to leave advice or a thought. All of them have been useful, and definitely taught me a lesson or tip.
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illian
What are you good at? There are so many factors at play here, that it's impossible to give a detailed answer without knowing what your skillset is.

I am in a similar situation but slightly further along the journey. I work 2 jobs with a family, but my business is gaining traction.

I think the most important thing for me was to figure out what you can do AND what is possible in your situation. It won't do you much good if you are very good at running a bar, but can't commit that much time to start it. In that case maybe you could offer seminars or webinars on how to run a bar where the time investment is still big but you can choose when to work on it (except for when the actual seminar is taking place).

I come from a software project management background and hired freelancers to help me build something.

Let me know what your skillset is and I can be a bit more specific.

Loud-Imagination ✍️
Thank you so much for taking the time to advise. My actual role is in customer service. I work for a private company that provides party entertainment. I have a big responsibility there, so for most of my work hours, I'm emailing, attending calls, and adjusting bookings. I'm good at analytics, and strategies. I have made recommendations in our meetings that my boss has implemented and they have brought great results to the company. So I was thinking of using that in my own business.

Wheelie
I would recommend just starting something, it doesn't matter what it is because taking that step and going from 0 to 1 you will learn so much. Also if you haven't already, i recommend you at least read "the lean startup" so you can learn to test and validate your ideas before putting too much time and money into them. Its a short read and you should be able to get through it in just a couple hours.

Armed with the knowledge, i would say just pick one of your ideas, set a timeline and a budget, and just start. Once you test and validate an Minimum Viable Products (MVP) you can justify investing more, either with your own money or outside capital, and from there the rest of thr story is yours to write.

Lots more i could say but that's probably at least a decent start, good luck!!

Loud-Imagination ✍️
Thank you so much! I will definitely look for the reading you recommend, The lean startup. I'm sure it would help me with more than one thing.

To be honest, I need to focus more on one thing at a time. I recognize that I want to do everything on my own, but I need to do only 1 thing right, and for the rest, I will find the right team/tools, that would do the other part I can't.

Thanks!

Wheelie
No problem! feel free to Direct Message (DM) if you want more advice, always happy to help out people looking to get started.

bnunamak
Honestly, it sounds like no matter what you do you will get burned out. My first recommendation would be only working out 3 times a week to stay fit but still have enough time on the other days to work on your business.

Many, many things need to go well for any business to succeed. Think long and hard about whether or not you want to try now while the cards are stacked against you.

My other recommendation would be to build up some savings to give you enough cashflow to live off of for at the very least 6 months. That way you can quit your job and push hard on the business. Is there any way for your husband to start working? I would probably start there.

Good luck!

Loud-Imagination ✍️
I appreciate your advice. I definitely need to start planning better my time, but going to the gym is the only activity I have outside of the house. Really, I've been 2 weeks in a row without going out, because my husband doesn't work but he takes care of the groceries and prepares the dinner at home, so I can spend all the time working. And I'm focusing on creating a product based on the gym niche since I'm already there, then I can take advantage of that.

We live in a city next to the beach, so everything here it's about tourism. We are in Brazil. So now it's the moment for my husband to do some work. I hope it gets better soon…for real. Thanks!

18752145
Maybe build something around your love of the gym. Look for products you can sell yourself using your lifestyle as the advertisement. Take it slow and keep your life balanced and see where it can take you.
Loud-Imagination ✍️
Sounds like a really good idea to think about and plan wisely. Thanks!

sparkle
Based on what you mentioned your job is, have you considered Virtual Assistant (VA) work (virtual assistant)? I know you also said your husband is the stay at home parent/homemaker, which is valuable in and of itself. However, I'm the stay at home parent and homemaker and I find/make time to run my own business. That doesn't mean everyone can do that, but just pointing out that it can be done and it can relieve some of the stress from your shoulders. Me running my own business means my husband doesn't have to work 70 hours a week anymore, he works more like 35.

Anyway, hope that helps!

Loud-Imagination ✍️
That's awesome! He is really into video editing/production, but we only have 1 laptop at home and I'm working with full time. So he is doing it with his phone. What he is not doing is persisting on that. He does one today, really good one, but then he stops. He can't find his motto. I try to support his talent and I look for ideas for him, but geez it's like another baby.

About the Virtual Assistant (VA) you mentioned, can you address me where to look or research it?

Thanks!

sparkle
Maybe just let him know how important it is for your family and that you'll support him any way you can.

I don't have any specific resources but there's tons of info if you search for virtual assisting info!
Chabubu
Rather than spend time starting a business, spend $200 and get a cheap laptop and get him working and bringing in some money.

He can do freelancing online. Build some job experience at a low rate and work up from there. Then that will also benefit you later in building a business.

Talk to him about business plans. Ask if he's interested in building a business with you. He could learn all of the video and design aspect of creating content for the business.

Do cheap freelancing jobs and build the experience.

My proposal would be one of two options: you either go get a part time or full job and earn a paycheck, or you work consistently at building your skills that fit into your long term goals/plan for the family.

But it is not acceptable to do neither and make excuses for going nowhere while one spouse shoulders all of the burden. That is not a mutual relationship but a parasitic one.

Which_Stable
This was asked before and left unanswered, why is your husband not working?

Loud-Imagination ✍️
Thank you for showing interesting, but I don't see the relevance of telling that. If you have an advise, I would love to hear it. Thanks.

Which_Stable
So I'm pretty much a pro entrepreneurial as they come and believe most people are capable of way more than they think, however I am also a realist.

If your working the hours you state, then this just isn't going to work out. Your time is much better spent working towards getting yourself a skill set that will allow you to work a job with less hours while still making ends meet. Obviously, that is going to be tough and take time but it a far better move than trying to start a business in your current position. Your looking at a difference of a 90%+ success rate with training vs a far less than 1% success rate with trying to start a business with your current spare time and financial means.

Now at his isn't what you want to hear, hell I wouldn't either so how does one get around these realities? Well barring some undisclosed disability, the easiest way to achieve your entrepreneurial goals would be to have your husband contribute to the household fiscally. This would free up more of your time since you could work less and in all likelihood still be bringing in more money than you were currently are.

I'm going to guess by the tone of your reply, that your husband doesn't work for completely indefensible reasons which you are reticent to share because it would cause you to have to evaluate this reality.
Loud-Imagination ✍️
Thank you so much for letting me know your thoughts. They are really helpful, and I agree with you about working on learning a skill than using the time and effort to create something from scratch, which I'm aware requires a lot. I know because my boss it's an entrepreneur. What my current job has helped me to realize is my skillset of being analytical and strategic, but I refuse to work for the dreams of another person my whole time.

About my husband, I just don't feel comfortable talking about it in public. It's more about respect for our relationship. But I really appreciate your willingness to help here.

Thank you so much!

steushinc
In your shoes. I'd start looking at something small I could do with that Sunday. I'd suggest looking through Tik Tok and start liking videos of people with at home businesses. The algorithm will soon start showing you only videos based on what you like. Simple things like t shirt printing through third party sites like printify, drop shipping or if you have a skill set you can offer on Fiverr. With the responsibilities you have, at home businesses works best. The next step is to hone in on any experience you gather from whichever at home business you decide to start and begin to scale up. If say you were selling 10 tshirts a day, now go after 100 a week and keep scaling up til you're making enough to replace one day at work. Once you achieve this: do not immediately give this time to your family. This is time you're new company is paying you to work. So this day must be devoted in investing in the new business and researching steps to go from online to a physical business. From there you continue your scale up till you replace a 2nd then a 3rd day off etc. until your new business pays enough to replace your full time pay.

Loud-Imagination ✍️
Invaluable advice!

I would take notes and follow a guide. It seems you read my mind because your recommendations attract my attention indeed.

Thank you!

nigel_chua
It is what it is, hang on in there!

A few things to note, based a lot around your time, energy and interests as I read your posts and replies:

• sustained attention and energy is very important, so yes, do schedule time for your workouts but go in gradually. don't start with 7 days a week, but work your way up, baby steps. Get husband to help out more with tasks that he can help out with, and plan your time carefully but really don't overdo (burnout is high risk here)

• take time to speak to people who speak and interact with you often and ask them (and yourself), what's the key 3-5 items that they go to you for/about? What specific niche, theme or solutions do they come to you for? Is it workouts? Is it diet? Is it X, Y, Z? Shouldnt take more than 10-15 min per person by just texting them to ask that.

• do something that can gain traction with time, eg i read you're interested in gym niche, so consider digital products around X outcome eg weight loss for Y clients; diet / cookbook for Y clients etc that can be sold again and again. These tends to take time to research and build. Faster low hanging fruits will be direct service which can be immediate.

• R&D/figure out along the way as you make mistakes, gather data and learn as you go

Loud-Imagination ✍️

A few things to note, based a lot around your time, energy and interests as I read your posts and replies:
sustained attention and energy is very important, so yes, do schedule time for your workouts but go in gradually. don't start with 7 days a week, but work your way up, baby steps. Get husband to help out more with tasks that he can help out with, and plan your time carefully but really don't overdo (burnout is high risk here)take time to speak to people who speak and interact with you often and ask them (and yourself), what's the key 3-5 items that they go to you for/about? What specific niche, theme or solutions do they come to you for? Is it workouts? Is it diet? Is it X, Y, Z? Shouldnt take more than 10-15 min per person by just texting them to ask that.do something that can gain traction with time, eg i read you're interested in gym niche, so consider digital products around X outcome eg weight loss for Y clients; diet / cookbook for Y clients etc that can be sold again and again. These tends to take time to research and build. Faster low hanging fruits will be direct service which can be immediate.R&D/figure out along the way as you make mistakes, gather data and learn as you go

This is a thesaurus for me.! Wow! I just saved your comment in my notes. This is what I was looking for, that's why I posted this today. It seems I'm getting the results that I'm looking for, and it's only 11 am! I will start doing what you recommend and sharing the outcomes with the community. Everyone will get involved! Thanks, really.

LeadDiscovery
Its a very open question. My response is this. Why?

Why do you want your own business and brand?
Most of us are looking to create a lifestyle of our choosing, but your goals could be different.
The type of business you develop will be based upon these goals.

Walk to your success
Although the media loves to talk about fast rises to the top, this is not normal and often not sustainable.

Considering it sounds like you have a busy lifestyle and commitments to your wife and children (which is great, why do we earn anyhow?), you should be looking at being a knowledge worker. Deep expertise in one field can allow you to leverage that knowledge into a service or tool. This lessens the requirement to trade time for money and that is where you want to be. You spend 3 months becoming an expert on x to solve a business problem, now you can charge for that knowledge across a number of businesses.

Digital marketing example:
Google is switching all their Google Analytics users to the new Google Analytics 4. This is a sweeping change and millions of businesses are not well prepared for it. One could spend 3 months fully mastering GA4, then offer a service to transition businesses into the new platform.

Loud-Imagination ✍️
Thanks for sharing this. Why do I want to have my own business? Well to start, I'm tired to be stacked in a job that's growing my boss' pocket and I'm still getting paid once per month. I'm tired to get to the end of the month eating one dish per day, so I can leave my children some protein. I'm tired to keep paying 50% of my income for the rent of one bedroom and my children sleeping in the living room. I'm tired of not being able to help my parents…and so on.

AKey
My best advice: stop overthinking it and just do it. We try and plan things out to be perfect and productive and successful and profitable BUT the reality is that we will face obstacles and fail sometimes, but all the pieces will work together and our worries and anxieties about failing (our business, our family, our routines, our aspirations) become easier to manage. Some days you might not go to work because you have to care for your family. Some days you might not wake up on time to work out because you were up all night doing the work that you love. We make sacrifices and it's much easier in practice than trying to avoid difficulties by planning everything out. You'll never be able to get it perfect by planning it out… you just have to start at it.



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